Sunday, August 17, 2008
Running from the Cops (548 views)
A brunette, a red-head, and a blonde were all running from the cops. They decided to split up. The brunette went to the west and jumped in with a pack of dogs. She started barking so the cops went after the red-head. The red-head went to east and jumped in with a pack of cats. She started meowing so the cops went after the blonde. The blonde went south and jumped into a vegetable garden. When the cops caught up with her, she began repeating, “Photosyntehsis, photosynthesis…”
Blondes Working at Company (533 views)
Their are two blondes working at a company together. The rest
are redheads and brunettes. One day a blonde came in and
started yelling “I’m a light, I’m a light!” The boss went over
to her and and told her that if she yelled that again she would
get fired. So the next day the blonde came in yelling “I’m a
light, I’m a light!” The boss went over too her and told her
that she was fired. So she started to pack her bags and her
other blonde friend was packing her bags too. The boss went
over to her and said “Why are you packing your bags I fired
your friend not you?” “I know”, said the blonde “but how am I
supposed to work without a light?”
Cure for Dandruff (537 views)
A blonde and brunette are walking along and the brunette turns to the blonde and said ‘my husband had really bad dandruff, so I gave him head and shoulders.’ then the blonde says ‘how do you give shoulders?
Blonde Cooking (542 views)
A new young blonde bride calls her mother in tears.
She sobs, “Robert doesn’t appreciate what I do for him!”
“Now, now,” her mother comforted, “I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding.”
“No, mother,” the young woman laments. “I bought a frozen turkey loaf and he yelled at me about how much I spent on it.”
“Well, that is being miserly,” the mother agreed, “Those turkey rolls are only a few dollars.”
“No, mother it wasn’t the price of the turkey roll, it was the airplane ticket.”
“Airplane ticket? What did you need an airplane ticket for?”
“Well mother, when I went to cook it, I read the directions on the back and they said, “PREPARE FROM A FROZEN STATE,” so I had to fly Alaska.”
Blonde Goes to The Library (538 views)
A blonde goes into a library and cheerfully says, “Hi! I’m here to see the doctor!”
In a stern, but hushed voice, the librarian says, “Miss, this is a library.”
So the blonde lowers her voice and says, “Oh sorry!” Then whispers, “I’m here to see the doctor.”
Hundred Dollar Bill (539 views)
A dumb blonde, a smart blonde and the tuth fairy were walking down the street. There was a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Who picked it up?
The dumb blonde, the other two dont exist.
Mailing a Blonde (498 views)
A blonde is speaking to her psychiatrist: “I’m on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me.”
Psychiatrist: “Don’t you have a phone in your car?”
Blonde: “That was a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing. I put a mailbox in my car.”
Psychiatrist: “Uh … How’s that working?”
Blonde: “Actually, I haven’t gotten any letters yet.”
Psychiatrist: “And why do you think that is?”
Blonde: “I figure it’s because when I’m driving around, my zip code keeps changing.”
Blonde in the Mustang (490 views)
A man was stopped at a red light when a fantastic looking blonde pulled up beside him in a really hot Mustang convertible.
Trying to start a conversation, the man asked, “Hey,….. how many horses you got under the hood?”
The blonde looked at the man bewildered, and replied, “Well,…. there’s one on the left side, one on the right side, ……. and oh yeah, there’s one on that little front thingy.”
Roe V.S Wade (458 views)
A blonde was sitting in class when the professor asked her if she knew what the Roe vs Wade decision was.
She sat there for quite a while pondering this very profound question and finally said,
“I think that is the decision George Washington made prior to crossing the Delaware.”
Did you Hear (753 views)
Did you hear about the blonde who took an hour to cook Minute Rice?
Did you hear about the blonde who got into the taxi, and the driver kept the “Vacant” sign up?
Did you hear about the blonde who was an M.D.–Mentally Deficient?
Did you hear about the blonde who thought nitrates was cheaper than day rates?
Did you hear about the blonde who after watching the ballerinas, wondered why they didn’t get taller girls?
Did you hear about the blonde who went to a nudist camp for a game of strip poker?
Did you hear about the blonde who brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?
Did you hear about the blonde who put under Education on her job application, ‘Hooked On Phonics’…
